Daily Kid Quote

27 Dec

Amelia: And what would you like?

Duncan: A big, fat bowl of fart mix.

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Daily Kid Quote

12 Dec

Linus from Peanuts (on TV): Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.

Duncan: Yes, they are!

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When Average Talent Is Good Enough

9 Dec

In the HR field, having the ability to see both sides of an argument is a very valuable skill.  Unfortunately, it can also lead to an inability to come to a decision and/or quite a bit of internal conflict.

And being who I am, I not only experience this within my professional life, but my personal one as well.  Sigh….the hazards of being empathetic….but I digress…

It has become very fashionable in recruiting to focus on acquiring “Top Talent”, which makes obvious sense, right?

Most famously, GE among other companies, operated under what is known as a “Vitality Curve” or in other words, a “Rank and Yank” talent management model.

This means they consider 20% of their employee population “Top Talent”, 70% to be average, and 10% to be bottom performers.  And every year they go through and fire the bottom 10%.

Theoretically, this makes a lot of sense; sort of a corporate version of Darwinism.

But the problem is, what if you have an employee that has been a valued team member, solidly average, that’s been around for 10 years or more?  And one particular year they experience a bunch of personal problems—death in the family, divorce, etc?  Does that employee deserve to be fired for having one underperforming year?

As a professional Recruiter, it would make sense that if one were looking to grow professionally, he or she would want to gain a reputation for possessing the ability to attract the best talent out there….Duh.

BUT…

Sometimes we have to recruit for a job that is, shall we say, less than glamorous.

For example, what do you do if you have to fill a job for a commercial housekeeper?  You know, the person that’s going to have to clean the bathrooms in the office (including when the dirtball scumbags have the intestinal flu and decide it is beneath their dignity to flush after themselves), dig the food out of the sink drains, and empty the stinky garbage cans that have been locked inside the vacationing executive’s office for the last 2 weeks.

Is “Top Talent” going to be content, fulfilled, and satisfied with a position changing garbage can liners?  And if they do accept the position to get a foot in the door with your company, how quickly will he or she either post into another position and/or quit to take something else????

Plus, more selfishly, if your underperforming employee happens to be the employee with the crappy job, but they show up every day and generally get it done, I beg you from the Recruiter’s point of view—Please don’t fire them!  That means we then have to find someone else that is going to be happy doing that crappy job, plus instead of focusing on hiring a more prominent, high profile hire, we have to devote time and energy to the crappy job.  “I’m sorry, Mr. VP of Marketing.  Your Social Media Director position is going to have to wait, because as you can see, the garbage around here is really starting to get piled up and stinky.”  Not exactly a conversation we relish having.

So anyway, if you are going to be the commercial housekeeper, by all means, be the best possible commercial housekeeper you can be.  I am certainly not casting any aspersions on that line of work.  All I am saying is that organizations need to realize that there is a happy medium; there has to be some sort of balance.  Don’t be so focused on acquiring “Top Talent” for every single, solitary position. 

Be reasonable and do what makes sense.  Use your recruiting resources appropriately.

I’m just sayin’….

Daily Kid Quote

6 Dec

Harper (while looking at People Magazine’s Sexist Man Alive issue, points to Bradley Cooper): Mommy, would you like HIM for your birthday?

Guess what my answer was…

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The Contents of a Nerd’s DVR

2 Dec
  1. “HIMYM” (NPH, need I say more?)
  2. “Two and a Half Men” (still funny, Ashton is hilarious)
  3. “2 Broke Girls” (I’m hoping it gets better)
  4. “Happy Endings” (Dad says I’m Penny, WTF?  He used to say I was Phoebe from Friends…)
  5. “Modern Family” (Sofia Vergara is a goddess)
  6. “New Girl” (Zooey Deschanel is my hero)
  7. “Castle” (drool-Nathan Fillion-drool)
  8. “Prime Suspect” (of course Maria Bello is awesome, but the dude that plays Calderone is badass, too; I hope they don’t cancel it)
  9. “Big Bang Theory” (Duh)

I also like “SYTYCD” and “American Idol”.  I am undecided about whether or not to get back on the bandwagon with them, though….They are just on for so LONG, it’s such a time commitment, and let’s face it, I have a limited amount of TV viewing time.

 

I know I should be recording and watching “The Walking Dead” and “American Horror Story”.  Both are right up my geek-alley, but I can never remember to look up when they’re on and set the machine.

 

Side Note: My dad showed me a couple of episodes of a show called “Proving Ground” on G4, which was like a mix of “Myth Busters” and “JackAss”.  But all the stuff they “proved” was geeky….like, Data’s gadgets from “Goonies”, and that game they play in Harry Potter.  I immediately started full-on crushing on Ryan Dunn, but then I found out he was killed in a car accident and now it’s over….:(

 

I freaking CANNOT WAIT until “Breaking In” starts back up in January.  That show is so nerd-tastic and hilarious that it was like the Mother Ship was calling me home!  Then I heard they were canceling it and I fell into a deep, inconsolable depression.  The only thing that dug me out was that they resurrected it, “Family Guy”-style.  Thank God!

 

I also have a ton of kid movies recorded for (heaven forbid) an emergency situation when “SpongeBob” isn’t on (ok, let’s get real—is “SpongeBob” ever NOT on???).

 

And not to brag or anything, but my DVR also holds arguably the two greatest trilogies ever made-“Toy Story” and “LOTR”.  Together, they take up about 66% of my space, but I don’t care.  Those bragging rights are worth it.

Reasons Why I Am Not And Will Never Be Cool

1 Dec

 

I….

  1. Am not in a band
  2. Am not intellectual
  3. Don’t like horror movies
  4. Don’t have a belly button
  5. Have no tattoos that are gory or scary
  6. Still don’t completely understand Twitter
  7. Care too much about my appearance
  8. Don’t like red wine
  9. Eat meat
  10. Will never be comfortable being snarky or bitchy
  11. Sneeze, talk, and laugh too loud
  12. Have an extra 20 lbs or so (including a giant ghetto booty)
  13. Am obsessed with Twilight and Nora Roberts books
  14. Worship Sofia Vergara and NPH
  15. Love celebrating birthdays and holidays
  16. Drink coffee and adult beverages like there’s no tomorrow

 

Reasons why I don’t care:

I have impeccable taste in music AND impeccable taste in friends.

 

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Daily Kid Quote

29 Nov

Harper (while playing with the door stop for the linen closet):  This is the greatest toy EVER!

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